I would say that I'm a pretty open person. Ask me any question and I'll give you a more detailed answer than you probably wanted. But I've never opened up this much before... to anyone, really.
This summer I cracked open and shared some of my best stories with all you total strangers. So thanks for lending me your ears for a quick minute or two.
As of late August, I've finished this huge project. I'm moving forward hungry for more. I'm as driven and motivated as ever: to push myself further and really question what makes me, me. And above all, to share the ups and downs of this journey with you all.
So here's what I learned last year. I'm glad you're along for the ride.
This past summer was truly incredible.
SUMMER 2021
Surveyor and the Surveyed:
As John Berger puts it:
"A woman must continually watch herself. She is almost continually accompanied by her own image of herself. And so she comes to consider the surveyor and the surveyed within her as the two constituent yet always distinct elements of her identity as a woman."
"She has to survey everything she is and everything she does because how she appears to others, is of crucial importance for what is normally thought of as the success of her life. Her own sense of being in herself is supplanted by a sense of being appreciated as herself by another."
Okay, Berger.
SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK.
Despite the refreshing independence that college brings me, I feel like I explore the world with a fake sense of freedom. It seems like I'm always bound by the judgement of the observer. For a while, I was building my sense of self on a fault-line.
It's frustrating...
...clearly.
But! There's nothing like living alone in your apartment in the thick of a pandemic to dig deeper into your core.
​
In the end, the love/happiness/enjoyment you seek in life can only sprout from the self:
Since the beginning of the pandemic, I've worked on various pieces that celebrate the beauty of the feminine identity that helps me gracefully navigate our dynamic world.
My confidence in this identity ebbs and flows, and it's honestly been difficult to create a collection about my feminine identity when it's constantly changing. It. takes. so. much. damn. time.
​
But that's the whole point. I want this project to grow and change just as I do. It's a challenge in both aspects!
​
Since I've started this project, I've met so many people, fostered existing friendships, and have gotten into/out of a relationship. My identity is/has been most definitely influenced by these people (in a good way), and I believe my work embodies these changes.
I'm interested to see if my work will take a different direction as we come out of the pandemic.
